Ok, so that might be a little dramatic. BUT it does feel like that. Especially right now. I miss India so much. I miss the beautiful people, the authentic faith, deep relationships, and encouraging relationships. I miss the food, the clothes, the bright smiles, beautiful children, and amazing experiences with God.
My favorite hymn says
"And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul."
And how true this is for me right now! I miss it there so much. I truly left my heart in India. My body may be here, but my heart is there. 100% there. And I am just waiting for the Lord to open that door so I can go back. How could he give me this passion and this heart and then not provide the way to act on it? He hasn't. And he won't.
This season of my life is one of growing. Growing my faith, my patience, and my trust in Him. So even though I cannot wait for him to reveal his plan to me, I need to be content here. I need to enjoy every second I have being in college, with my family, friends, and boyfriend. I need to grow my relationship with him to be truly steadfast in his promises and love.
So until I am back in the home of my heart, I will just have to sing along with the words of Horatio Spafford,
Lord, It is well with my soul. Regardless of where you send me or keep me. Regardless of the desires of my selfish heart, regardless of my impatience and frustration. It is well with my soul.
More to come as I continue to process....
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